Rob's Prayer Journal for Me

In going through Rob's things I came across a prayer journal he kept for me during our days of long distance dating. The very first prayer her wrote out took my breath away. It was as if he was praying over me straight from heaven, at the feet of Jesus. I'm vulnerably sharing it here, because I can't contain how incredible God is in comforting me in the most profound ways.

September 29, 2009

I pray that you are well and remain full of the Holy Spirit. Lord be near Stephanie. Guide her toward the path of righteousness. I pray that you fill her with your love as I am apart from her. Be her comforter, her rock and her Father. Give her wisdom as she leads her house with care and a discerning heart. Let her know more and more of you each day. Give her the strength to face each day. Give her patience and understanding in listening to those she leads and guides. Oh God let her know your presence. Give her inner peace. Amen.

October 9, 2009

Please be near Stephanie. She is going through so much testing and trials. I pray that she clings to the words of James 1:2-4 where it says to take joy in these trials as they will produce something good. Be there to guide her and bless her with your comforting presence. Help her to know how to deal with the situations that arise...

There were only a few entries but each one felt like they were prayers for this time in my life right now. What a treasure he left behind, and I will forever be grateful.

**Photos below by Kelsi Laine Photography at Rob's birthday celebration

Family Reunion Minus One | Tears Like Crashing Waves

For nearly a year we'd had a family reunion planned for the end of September in Canada. It was Rob's dad's 60th birthday and it was long overdue that the entire family was together. Rob hadn't seen his sister or niece in 5 years, so we were all looking forward to renting an AirBnB on Georgian Bay together. 

Damnit.

The thought of this trip made me angry. Not only did his accident happen on my Dad's birthday, now he had to go and spoil his own Dad's birthday by turning it into his memorial service. (And yes, I know, no one feels this way except me).

Okay it ended up being far better than I anticipated. We had extremely unusual warm weather and spent most of our time on the beach and swimming in the bay. But God knew that was what we all needed. I spent a lot of time standing silent before that endless expanse of water. I watched the waves continuously break on the shoreline and bury my feet in the sand. I cried a lot of tears, and still do, and will continue to. They seem to be as constant as the breaking waves. 

"Those who sow in tears shall weep in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." -Psalm 126:5-6

Women Who Rise | Facing A Rare Medical Diagnosis

Women Who Rise | Facing A Rare Medical Diagnosis

Today I need to reflect on another story of a woman who has risen from hardship. And especially with the volatile environment filled with hatred, debate, racism, and a severe lack of compassion and understanding we are seeing right now, it's a good time to be reminded of hope.